BLACK BOOMER JOURNEYS: THE DATING SCENCE
You never thought that you would be on the dating scene again but life happens. Divorce, separation, widowhood all bring us to the place where we are out there looking for that partner. The problem for many of us is that the dating experience has changed. There is a new approach to meeting and dating.
When you were younger it was easy to attend a church social, an event sponsored by a club or organization, where you were sure to meet a bunch of guys. Maybe your friend introduced you to her brother or cousin. The day of the church social is long gone. Today social media is becoming the fastest way to connect. Sixty percent of boomers use social media sites, to keep in touch with family and friends. If you have never used one of these sites or find it difficult to do so, you can try learning.
Getting back into the swing of things by signing up to an online dating site can be challenging. You are communicating with a picture and a profile without knowing the real person. Many of the top online dating sites such as Match.com offer guidelines for safety, but like everything else you are responsible for your own safety. Although meeting Jack the Ripper may be a low possibility, you never know who is posting on these dating sites.
So here are some tips to get you back into the game:
- Security. Check out your site – Do an online search of various sites. Ask friends to suggest one that they have used. Look for these certifications – Hacker –Safe or TrustE which prove that the site is compliant with privacy guidelines.
2. CAUTION – Do not give out your personal information until you have decided to meet and feel that you can trust the person. On your first date you should meet in a public place or even bring a friend. Drive yourself to the date or take a cab, and go home the same way. Remember the old rule – DO NOT GO ANYWHERE WITH STRANGERS.
3. Your Profile – Honesty is the best policy. Do not lie about your age, profession or your accomplishments. Think carefully about the qualities that you are looking for. Post your best photo. Most of all be realistic
4. Focus on the positive. Be sure to boost your good traits and describe some positive things that you can bring to the relationship.
5.Reality check – The qualities that you loved most in your former spouse or partner may be irreplaceable. When looking for someone new try not to compare, but look for uniqueness in each person.
6 Take your time. There is no rush. Enjoy looking at different profiles and chatting with different people until you feel comfortable.
Harriette Barker, Ph.D, RN